воскресенье, 25 сентября 2016 г.

Don't dream it's over.

Everything in my head went quiet.All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared.When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments.Even in bed, I’m thinking:Did I lock the doors? Yes.Did I wash my hands? Yes.Did I lock the doors? Yes.Did I wash my hands? Yes.But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips..Or the eyelash on her cheek—the eyelash on her cheek—the eyelash on her cheek.I knew I had to talk to her.I asked her out six times in thirty seconds.She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going.On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or fucking talking to her...But she loved it.She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times if it was Wednesday.She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk.When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely locked the door eighteen times.I’d always watch her mouth when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked
when she talked;
when she talked—when she talked—when she talkedwhen she talked;when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges.At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off.She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.Some mornings I’d start kissing her goodbye but she’d just leave cause I wasjust making her late for work...When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking...When she said she loved me her mouth was a straight line.She told me that I was taking up too much of her time.Last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place.She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but...How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touched her?Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t.I can’t – I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her.Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin.I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars...And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel..How she turns shower knobs like she's opening a safe.How she blows out candles—blows out candles—blows out candles—blows out candles—blows out candles—blows out…Now, I just think about who else is kissing her.I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once — he doesn’t care if it’s perfect!


пятница, 23 сентября 2016 г.

In a different time or place the words could make more sense.

Здравствуй, читатель.
Как твоё ничего? Осень началась ещё в августе, так что не удивлюсь, если ты уныл и подавлен.
А вот я, как ни странно, живой-здоровый, и наконец-то вполне себе счастливый. Нужно было всего лишь держать себя в руках неделю, потом стало проще. Ну и чистка переписки после каждого общения помогла, да.
Потихоньку играю на гитаре, потихоньку стримлю свои игры (ссылку на твич ты можешь найти ниже, мне с телефона вставлять лень, но предупрежу сразу, что стримлю в основном после полуночи).
Прохождение Fire Emblem Fates временно прервалось, так как после того, как я прошёл Конквест и был готов перейти к Revelations, вышел новый Феникс Райт. Ну уж извините, тут я ничего не мог с собой поделать.
Зато Феникса я уже почти прошёл!
В общем, как только я ушёл из старбакса, жизнь моя стала легка и беззаботна, удивительное дело.
На этом, вроде бы, всё.
До скорой связи!